Do you think Geraldton needs a shark barrier?
You may have heard that Colin Barnett was in town yesterday, making the promise to install that shark barrier that none of us have ever asked about. Even the Sydney Morning Herald did a story on it (link). As you're probably aware, Sydney siders are always talking about how Geraldton doesn't have any shark barriers.
No-one from Sydney who read the article has ever actually been to Western Australia, but they're interested in our prosperity because they need all our GST revenue.
It's interesting that shark barrier announcements make national news, but state government cuts to the City of Greater Geraldton in virtually every other area is met with the sound of crickets.
Now I know what you're thinking. Why the heck do we need a shark net or barrier or whatever, when there are so many more pressing issues in Geraldton? Why is the state government cutting funding to Geraldton with one hand, and giving us shark barriers with the other? Doesn't this announcement demonstrate that our politicians are completely off the planet and out of touch?
No. There's some great reasons why this shark barrier is a win for Geraldton (if we re-elect a Liberal government of course). We just need to use some good-ol'-fashion Gero ingenuity and we can make good use of this shark net barrier thingy.
1. We can rip it up and install it on the bridges where the kids are throwing rocks
For years we've been asking for barriers along all the bridges and roads where cars keep getting rocks thrown at them. (And also for those who get caught to actually be punished). People have been hospitalised, cars damaged, and residents too scared to drive through certain areas of Geraldton. This shark barrier could be repurposed as a barrier to stop those rocks... you know, the problem everyone has been carrying on about for years.
2. Maybe TAFE, I mean Durack, no wait, it's TAFE again, could use it in their Aquaculture program.
They're always being threatened with funding cuts. Perhaps they could use it for something.
3. If we attach a tarp to it we could rig it up as a shade sail along the foreshore.
Practical and artistic.
4. We can put branches and leaves in it and use it to hide the speed camera guy's car.
The Police and state government love hiding X-Trails in the bush, and this could really help them make the roads safer by better hiding those speed camera cars so all those hoons don't slow down but instead get a fine for doing 8 km's over the limit on a dual carriageway down hill. Damn hoons.
5. An alcohol barrier.
Perhaps we could install it around the new bottle shop that we didn't want as a kind of test, and if you are too drunk to be able to climb over it, you don't get any booze.
If you've got a suggestion for what to do with the shark barrier, fill in the form below.