5 reasons a shark barrier is great news for Geraldton


Do you think Geraldton needs a shark barrier?

You may have heard that Colin Barnett was in town yesterday, making the promise to install that shark barrier that none of us have ever asked about. Even the Sydney Morning Herald did a story on it (link). As you're probably aware, Sydney siders are always talking about how Geraldton doesn't have any shark barriers.

Just kidding.

No-one from Sydney who read the article has ever actually been to Western Australia, but they're interested in our prosperity because they need all our GST revenue. 

It's interesting that shark barrier announcements make national news, but state government cuts to the City of Greater Geraldton in virtually every other area is met with the sound of crickets.

Now I know what you're thinking. Why the heck do we need a shark net or barrier or whatever, when there are so many more pressing issues in Geraldton? Why is the state government cutting funding to Geraldton with one hand, and giving us shark barriers with the other? Doesn't this announcement demonstrate that our politicians are completely off the planet and out of touch?

No. There's some great reasons why this shark barrier is a win for Geraldton (if we re-elect a Liberal government of course). We just need to use some good-ol'-fashion Gero ingenuity and we can make good use of this shark net barrier thingy.

1. We can rip it up and install it on the bridges where the kids are throwing rocks

For years we've been asking for barriers along all the bridges and roads where cars keep getting rocks thrown at them. (And also for those who get caught to actually be punished). People have been hospitalised, cars damaged, and residents too scared to drive through certain areas of Geraldton. This shark barrier could be repurposed as a barrier to stop those rocks... you know, the problem everyone has been carrying on about for years. 

2. Maybe TAFE, I mean Durack, no wait, it's TAFE again, could use it in their Aquaculture program.

They're always being threatened with funding cuts. Perhaps they could use it for something. 

3. If we attach a tarp to it we could rig it up as a shade sail along the foreshore.

Practical and artistic. 

4. We can put branches and leaves in it and use it to hide the speed camera guy's car. 

The Police and state government love hiding X-Trails in the bush, and this could really help them make the roads safer by better hiding those speed camera cars so all those hoons don't slow down but instead get a fine for doing 8 km's over the limit on a dual carriageway down hill. Damn hoons. 

5. An alcohol barrier. 

Perhaps we could install it around the new bottle shop that we didn't want as a kind of test, and if you are too drunk to be able to climb over it, you don't get any booze.

If you've got a suggestion for what to do with the shark barrier, fill in the form below.

(Click here if you can't see it.)

If you want you can include your name. No pressure.



✅ Proof Gero people have the best sense of humour

This political sign that appeared in Gero is 💯

So Everything Geraldton had this photo sent in today. At first glance we just wondered who this new candidate was...  


Wait what?  


So we tracked down Callum on Twitter...  


and were not disappointed:  


Happy Birthday Callum! 

We've also been informed that as a CV Full Back, Callum was the recent Fairest and Best recipient. 

Regarding the "clowns" in Geraldton


Everything Geraldton has received a number of questions from community members somewhat concerned as to whether or not the media hyped "clowns" are in Geraldton. Is there a group of people in Geraldton wandering around trying to scare the daylights out of people dressed as clowns? 

First, I agree clowns are quite creepy. Whoever thought they were an appropriate way to entertain children was on some decent acid.  

But, Geraldton folk predominantly aren't like our metro counterparts. We go fishing, camping... and hunting. 

Can you imagine what a Hilux full of Gero lads would do if they spotted someone lurking around in a clown costume trying to scare people? They certainly wouldn't run away scared. Let me tell you, I'd be more concerned for the wellbeing of the clown. They're more likely to hog tie them and leave them at the cop shop than run away scared (that's if the clown is lucky). 

In my opinion, there's very little chance anyone would be willing to risk their life at the moment by going outside in anything resembling a clown costume. Heck, if Maccas had Ronald McDonald visit for the day I'd suggest he get body guards. 

Some numbskull thought it would be funny to start a Geraldton clown page, and from this a few people have actually become concerned for their safety.  

But if the people who started the page had any idea about how the law actually works, they'd realise their anonymity is far from assured.

If you make a threat to break the law, or do something to cause people to fear for their well being, the Police are within their rights to get a court order for Facebook and your ISP to hand over identifying information. And Facebook are only all too willing to comply.  

Some people are treating this like a joke, some think it's a marketing stunt for the new Stephen King "IT" movie coming soon, some think it's serious and they need to hide their kids. 

But seriously, if you think you're being funny walking around in a scary clown costume now, you clearly have a death wish.   


There are two types of people. Guess which one Gero people are.  

There are two types of people. Guess which one Gero people are.  

Update. Geraldton Police say they've received reports of people driving around dressed as clowns intimidating other drivers. 


This suggestion for suspending licences is actually brilliant

We've published a couple of stories recently on that dangerous intersection at Hosken and NWCH. 

Here's the first. 

And here's a letter from a local Labor politician who says he's been nagging the Liberal National government about this intersection for years.

It's true that accidents could be avoided if people weren't idiots and never pulled out when they couldn't see. 

But we don't live in that reality. We live in a reality where we need roundabouts and traffic lights. 

But one local has a suggestion on creating a new law for removing someone's drivers licence that might make the roads safer:

Ryan Eastough : I use this intersection every day at least 2wice its a shocker , im carefull on both bike and car and havent had an incident but iv seen so many near misses that have really frightened me for those involved , mainly people lacking in driving skills ,but in this day and age we have to protect the stupid as well because " natural selection " is no longer tolerated and licences are hard to take back once given out unless it's drunk driving or hoon laws maybe there should also be an " ur just an unco useless driver , hand ur licence back because ur dangerous clause "

Sounds good to us.

Seeing how there's no transport minister in WA, Mr Blayney can you fix this intersection for us?

Complaint to the editor: The system is broken

Not an actual letter we received... but pretty close. 

No one will help me.

I have a complaint. I need help but there's literally no help out there. The system is completely broken. 

Apart from the fact that I get a Housing Authority house to live in funded by tax payers, there's just no help at all. I am completely on my own with my struggle. 

I don't actually have a job. All the money I get each week is given to me by the government as well, funded by taxes I guess. But no one will help me. I'm on my own. 

I can barely get through a day, struggling to raise my kids. Yes, it's true I don't have to pay for their schooling, and I get extra money from other tax payers to raise them, and I get free day care for them too. But there's literally no help. I'm on my own. 

Sure, I may live in one of the most stable economies in the world, with great roads, no war, plenty of food, excellent Police and emergency services. But I have very little to be thankful for. The system is completely broken. 

While I can go and get free or discounted food whenever I want from local charities, that's just something I have come to expect as a given. No one is willing to actually help me though. 

Through no fault of my own I got addicted to drugs. And even though there's a heap of free services that will help me get off the drugs, they don't help me in the exact way I want to be helped. They're useless and no one cares about me. 

The system is completely broken and people like me are left to fend for themselves. It's horrible. I went to the hospital recently and had to wait 3 hours. That's madness. Sure, I didn't actually have to pay a single cent for the help they gave me, but no other country in the world could possibly allow people to wait three hours for their free health care. I've never actually been overseas, but I assume Australia is the worst. 

I suppose I also don't have to pay anything when I go to the doctors. But sometimes the doctors are grumpy and make mistakes as if they're actual humans or something. This proves the system is screwed. There's no help out there for people like me. 

Sometimes when I try and get around town, I have to use public transport. And I know the small amount I pay for my ticket barely covers a tenth of the cost of running the public transport, so tax payers pay for it again, but I'm still not happy with the quality of the transport. It's so inconvenient. No one is willing to help me. It's shocking that in this day and age I can't get my own chauffeur to drive me exactly where I need to go whenever I choose. 

And I have no future job prospects either. I mean, sure, I could get a job tomorrow at a fast food joint if I really wanted. But that's not my dream job. And if there's one thing all those movies I watched while being unemployed have taught me, it's that you should follow your dreams and never compromise. There's literally no help out there for people in my situation. Yes, I could pay absolutely nothing and go and get an education so I'd be qualified for my dream job. But I have so many other things in life I'm struggling with that I don't have time to do all that study. There's just no help available. 

Here's another struggle I endure. I can't afford to pay for extra data for my phone bill, so I'm forced to go all the way into town to use the free wifi at the library just to browse Facebook. It's so barbaric. No one wants to help me. I'm a victim.

In short, the world owes me and people need to do more to help me. I don't know exactly what else they should do for me, but the free money, police, health care, accommodation, education, defence force, child care, roads, transportation, emergency services, sewerage, waste disposal, internet, water, parks, playgrounds, museums, electricity and food... just isn't enough. 

Clearly no one cares and there's no help available.

- Misunderstood Victim

7 things you should know if you plan on moving to Geraldton

So you've decided to move to Geraldton. Great. We're happy to have you. 

Here's a few tips that we hope will help you settle in. 

This block is over 2000m2

This block is over 2000m2

700m2 is not a large block

Yeah, we heard in Perth that a large block is 400 m2, that's madness. Anything under 700m2 is tiny. No one blinks at 2000 m2 blocks, which are about half the price of a Perth block. We need somewhere for the shed, the dog, the trampoline, and the veggie patch. So if you notice that all the blocks here are massive, they're actually not. You're just used to living in a cubicle.

Everything is only 8 minutes away

With a few exceptions, you can get anywhere in 8 minutes. That means we all arrive at events within 30 seconds of each other. So if you get somewhere 5 minutes early, don't be surprised if you're the only one there. 

Our tap water tastes like the Dead Sea

Get a reverse osmosis water filter or buy bottled water. Or better still, a rain water tank. But don't drink the tap water. 

No one is impressed with your new whatever

Got a new BMW? Fancy hair cut? Expensive suit? No one cares. Geraldton people are all pretty down to earth. It's hard to tell millionaires and tradies apart tbh. We care more that you're a decent bloke or woman; we don't choose our friends based on their net worth. 

Yeah we already know Gero's a great place to live

It shocks a lot of Perthies when they spend some time here, then realise their perception of Geraldton was completely wrong. You can point it out to us if you really need to. But we already know how great Gero is to call home. That's why we're here!

Yes, the weather really is that much better than Perth

Only 4 hours north of Perth, but the extra few degrees makes a big difference in winter, and summers are definitely a time of consistent beach/pool action. And we're not quite as far north as the insane troppo weather. Take up a water sport and you won't regret it. Preferably one that benefits from windy conditions, like Kite Boarding. 

We have much faster internet than most of Perth

A bunch of scientists convinced a bunch of bureaucrats to spend billions of dollars to build a massive radio telescope array inland from Geraldton (SKA) so we can find aliens. Somehow that translated into much of Geraldton getting fibre to the premises NBN before most of Perth. On top of that we have a local ISP called Node 1 who built their own wireless network that gets NBN-like speeds. We had this even before the NBN rolled out. 

So yeah, Perth may be a bit of a technological backwater. But you can expect to get decent internet speeds throughout most of Geraldton. 

If you need any actual advice on moving to or living in Geraldton, click here to check out our "Im new to Geraldton" section. 

The war on drugs has never worked anywhere else in the world but it will work in Geraldton

You may be asking why our politicians are so hell-bent on fighting drug users with criminal sentences and tough laws.

And you may often wonder why the police brag on social media so often about busting people with something most of us have taken more than once, treating drug users like idiots.

You may think that because fighting the war on drugs has never worked anywhere in the world it won't work here.

But you'd be wrong.

We're different. Australians are the best kind of people in the world so we know what we're doing.

If we fight hard enough and spend enough tax payer money and get more cops and jails, then eventually we'll get the upper hand and there will be no more drugs in our community. (Except alcohol, but that doesn't count because alcohol has never caused any problems and is a big revenue raiser for the government.)

"Why send them to jail?" you may be asking. "There's even more dugs there!"

Well, by being surrounded by lots of other people who do drugs and deal drugs they're likely to learn how bad drugs are, and they'll never do drugs again. It's obvious when you think about it. 

"But WHY are drugs bad?" lots of people ask. "Shouldn't I be allowed to decide what I put in my body?"

Look, on the surface it may make sense to let adults make their own decisions about what to do with their bodies. Life is short. It seems people should be allowed to enjoy their momentary existence however they choose. You're responsible enough to vote, get married, be drafted then killed in war, and have gender reassignment surgery if you want. So you may think that people should be able to choose what they consume. 

But you're wrong.  

You don't understand how much smarter politicians are than regular folk. They get to go to special private schools like Scotch college that cost $50,000 a year, and they come from better stock.

And by living nowhere near any poverty or any suburb that has a lot of drug users, they're more aware of how to deal with the problem.

They know what's best for us. And they've decided that alcohol gets the thumbs up, prescription anti depressants should be consumed like Minties™, but cannabis is an evil plant probably created by Satan.

"But people are still easily getting drugs despite all the money spent on fighting them!" is one popular argument against continuing the status quo.

But that's just because we haven't scared, I mean, educated the community enough yet of the consequences of drugs.

"But the current laws are what's making drug taking dangerous, because people can't test what they're taking!" I hear you say.

Pfft. If we made it safe for people to take drugs, then what would the media print each week? Everyone knows newspaper circulation is plummeting, and TV viewership is basically now just over 50s who don't have a grandchild that can set up Netflix for them. Without the scary "drugs are bad" stories, news organisations will have to come up with a different trope to get everyone tut-tutting at their screens and constantly worried about the state of the world.

Besides, meth.

That's right. Meth. I love meth. I mean, I don't love meth. I mean, the word meth is so powerful now that you can just say "meth head" and straight away a picture of a scab-riddled-zombie appears in your mind and you basically want to shoot it with a sawn-off shot gun and scream "think of the children" while running into the reassuring arms of Constable Care. 

We don't even need to have a conversation about all the different drugs that are no worse than alcohol, if we just mention "meth" then talk about dugs generally. Because then we can just associate the zombie picture in your mind with all drugs and lump all those drug users onto that shelf.

What's that? You want meth use decriminalised too, and to reallocate the $1.7 billion spent fighting drugs on resources to HELP addicts who want to quit?

Gah! Crazy talk.

Look, drugs and crime are related. No one is exactly sure how much crime is because of drug use. But it seems pretty legit. I read about it in The West™ once. So if we want people to stop breaking into our homes we have to make drugs hard to get and expensive so they can't afford them and have to ... wait...  

"But Portugal decriminalised all drug use and crime actually dropped! Even drug use declined."

Rubbish. Just because all the statistics about Portugal being so much better off since they decriminalised all the drugs are blindingly obvious, doesn't mean we want to be like Portugal.

What about being more like the USA? They have the second highest incarceration rate in the world, at 698 per 100,000 people, only behind a country you've never heard of called Seyechelles with a population of about two Geraldtons. Wouldn't you rather be like the USA where all the cool violent movies come from, rather than where Nandos comes from? When was the last time you watched a Portugese movie? Exactly. Coz they're not cool. Americans are cool.

It's not like the WA laws are unfair or anything. Here's an excerpt from lawstuff.org.au that helps young people get wise about ... law stuff. This is for WA.

"You can also get into trouble if the police catch you at a mate’s place where people are smoking cocaine or heroin. Even if you don’t smoke yourself, you could be fined up to $2,000 and/or have to go to jail for up to 2 years just for being there."

Sure, many pedeophiles get less than 2 years. But it's good to know that by being at a house where someone else does cocaine, you can go to jail for 2 years. Australia definitely has it's priorities sorted. 

And if you think that's too harsh... a lot of the effort is spent catching the dealers anyway, not the users. 

Which makes a lot of sense really when you think about it. If we catch all the dealers, then people won't be able to get drugs and when there's low supply, we all know what happens. That's right. People decide not to do drugs at all and just stay at home and enjoy a quiet cup of tea. 

Look, people need the government to stop them from doing things that are bad. We can't be expected to make decisions for ourselves. Sure, that approach totally isn't working right now and drugs are everywhere, but we just need to raise taxes a bit more so we can afford more prisons and cops, then we'll definitely get rid of the drugs.

And a really good social media campaign will help too, because social media is trendy with the "youth", who are the ones whose drug use is on the rise.

Oh what's that you say? The only age groups that are increasing in drug use in Australia are the over 50's and over 60's according to Australian drug use stats? (Link)

Oh.  Um...

Yeah, those dodgy grandparents. I knew it was them.

That recent "dob in a dealer" campaign the WA Police ran worked I think. It netted $50,000 worth of guns and drugs in Geraldton and the surrounding areas. Not sure what the breakdown was between firearms and drugs... but that has to be at least 2 or 3 days worth of drugs in the Mid West. 

Look, if we don't have the constant moral panic in our community over drug use, then how will the existing political system continue to justify its existence. We can't allow individual freedom to become more important than maintaining the status quo.

I think I might celebrate getting all those drugs off the street by drinking a bottle of wine, and remind myself how much better I am than drug users.

(For the record, I don't do drugs. Except pseudoephedrine. And caffeine. And alcohol. And nicotine. And whatever those blue pills are my mate gave me that help my "stamina".)


5 things Geraldton job seekers should do

Look, the economy around Australia isn't cranking like it was. China isn't paying us $200 a tonne for our dirt any more. So there's less money flowing downstream through everyone's wallets and there are less jobs on the table.  

But there's plenty of folks who could do a few simple things to help themselves when it comes to finding a job. 

1. Fix up your God damn Facebook profile. 

Honestly, every employer will do a search on Facey to stalk you before hiring you. If they're confronted with profile pics showing how cool you think being drunk is, questions about where to get the best weed in town, and bitching that shows you have no decorum, I can guarantee your resume will go straight in the bin. 

Hot tip: Check out the "View As" option to see what others see. 

2. Take a job. Any job. 

When I interview people, I always value someone who is doing SOMETHING over someone who's been sitting on the dole for 2 years waiting for the perfect job to come along.

In 2008 I couldn't find a job in my chosen profession in Geraldton. I couldn't leave town. So I took whatever job I could get, which happened to be at a servo. I scrubbed toilets and cleaned diesel residue for the next 9 months. I didn't LOVE it, but eventually I found other work. 

I am saddened when I meet people who won't take a job they think is beneath them, but are fine going on the dole.

3. Do some study. Get a qualification. 

The economy is becoming more and more automated. Unskilled labour is going to increasingly be done by autonomous machines, and will continue to move overseas. Invest some time in learning a skill that employers will find useful. We have a small but growing university right here in town, and a very bustling tafe, Durack Institute of Technology. Get in touch with them and see what they have on offer. If a Sudanese refugee who doesn't speak English as well as you can put the hard yards in and become a chemist (link), you can hit the books too.  

4. Network with the right people. 

I meet a lot of employers who know they could use some extra staff, but hate the process of hiring someone so much that they just keep putting it off. But when they meet someone they know and like, who they know is looking for work, they're more than happy to offer them a job. So start meeting the right people. That might mean joining a public speaking group, or getting involved with a local charity, joining Pollinators, getting along to a Rotary meeting, or going to the Council meetings, or whatever. Use your imagination. But the go-getters and business owners of this city aren't going to knock on your door and ask to hang out with you watching Netflix. Get out and meet them. 

5. Apply for everything. 

Subscribe to the Everything Geraldton Jobs email (link). Keep an eye on Seek. Hand out your resume. Post in the Employment Wanted section on EG (link). Apply for any job you can legally do. And don't wait until a job is advertised; As per tip 4, plenty of business owners never even get that far. 

Bonus tip: Be positive. 

Nothing hurts like rejection. It attacks your psyche, it makes you question your self worth, it makes it hard to get out of bed and try again. But do whatever you have to do to get your head right, otherwise your own thoughts will kill your chances of finding work. Find whatever works for you...  pray, meditate, talk to encouraging friends, listen to a motivational speaker. These things may not get you a job directly, but they may make the difference between an employer thinking they like your energy, vs them thinking they want nothing to do with you. 

6 signs you know it's time to leave Geraldton and move to Perth

1. You get to work too quickly, and you really want to know what it's like to be stuck in traffic for an hour each way every single day. 

2. You find the Geraldton beaches aren't crowded enough, and you long to know what it's like to struggle to find somewhere to set up your towel on the beach. 

3. You wish you could pay $25 to park your car in town, but the most you're able to pay in Geraldton is $7.70 for a full day.

4. Buying a house near the beach is too affordable, and you wish you could go into millions of $ of debt to get such a great lifestyle. 

5. You hate how easy it is to go camping, fishing and exploring the great outdoors. If you lived in Perth you'd be way more justified in telling yourself it's too much effort to get away. 

Pic: Brendon Plug

Pic: Brendon Plug

6. You see your friends and family way too often, because in Geraldton they're always only 5 minutes away. You want to be lonely as you grow older, and in a big city it would be much easier to be forgotten about. 

Pic:  @deb_0_rah

Someone at Seven has a sense of humour: Chicken truck rollover video

A truck carrying chickens has had an accident on Lord Street Ellenbrook. Several chickens have died and many are across the road.STORY: http://yhoo.it/1UlUMeQ#7news

Posted by 7 News Perth on Tuesday, February 23, 2016

And this wins best comment

From the interwebs: Watch this mum try and dress triplets and a toddler. Hilarious

Mom vs Triplets + Toddler!A must watch! 󾆜🏼󾆩🏻󾆩🏻󾆩🏻 .. Give super mom a share! Being Mommy Dan Gibson Ellen MommyPage Parenthood Being Daddy Parenting.com Twin Magazine Parent Life Network ellentube

Posted by The Baby Gang on Thursday, February 4, 2016

Obviously a humourous dramatisation, but hilarious none-the-less. 

Click here to view video if you can't view it above. 


10 things anyone who's lived in Geraldton knows

This year marks the tenth year I have lived in Geraldton.  I guess that officially makes me a local now, right? 

I absolutely love this city.  I loved it ten years ago, and I still do.  I moved from Perth in 2006 to be with my (now) husband with no plans, knowing nobody and nothing about Geraldton at all.  It’s definitely changed a lot since I’ve been here, but the best things about Geraldton have stayed the same, really.  The beaches, the people, the relaxed atmosphere.  Now that I am, hopefully, officially a Geraldton local, here are some things that people of Geraldton know for sure about our fair city.


1. You haven’t experienced wind until you’ve had to pick your clothes up from around the backyard. 

Sometimes, when you hang the washing out, you have to chase the hills hoist around in circles.  You come back outside in ten minutes and it’s dry.  Possibly all over the ground, or over the back fence, but it’s dry.  You can’t wear your hair down for an outside wedding.   People everywhere else call it severe winds.  To us, it’s a sea breeze.

2. We have the best customer service.

When I moved to Geraldton I was delighted to discover how friendly people in customer service are.  They are always helpful and always smiling.  Sure, I imagine we all have bad experiences once in a while, but it happens nowhere near as much as it did when I lived in Perth.

3. 'Six Degrees of Geraldton' is a thing. 

You go places and you know everyone.  People you know talk to you about other people they know, who you kind of know, because they are your mum’s best friend’s daughter’s Year One teacher.

4. Everyone is this town bands together during times of personal crisis. 

Thanks to ‘Six Degrees of Geraldton,’ when someone is going through something, we are all going through it.  People are so quick to raise money and help out a family or a person in a tough time.  We are a generous city, and we look after each other.

5. It’s a great place to raise children. 

This one is new to me.  My twins are 19 months old and there is nowhere my husband and I would rather raise them than in Geraldton.  There are parks, great beaches and playgroups.  Our beautiful foreshore makes for a great family Sunday day out.  

6. We all remember what we were doing the day the cinema got EFTPOS.

It was a joyous occasion for all.

#Drummonds from the air Shared by @jthomas84_

A photo posted by Everything Geraldton (@everythinggeraldton) on

7. Geraldton has the best beaches in Western Australia. 

It’s our state’s best kept secret.  Watch out for the sharks though.

The jewel of #geraldton #crayfish #rocklobster #seafood about to be #pickled #omnomnom #tasty #monster

A photo posted by Caity Teneille (@caityteneille) on

8. Our Christmas lunches usually involve crayfish. 

Thanks once again to ‘Six Degrees of Geraldton,’ we all know someone who knows someone who has a few spare crays they can throw our way.

9. Winter in Geraldton is practically Summer everywhere else. 

Some of the best weather I’ve experienced has been smack bang in the middle of July.  I’m talking 29 degree days, with no wind.  Beautiful.

10. We love our city. 

Don’t say anything bad about it either, we live here because we love it.  I’m so proud to call this place my home and excited that my sons will grow up here.  Thank you, Geraldton for the memories over the last ten years, the friendly faces, and the wind, for being the reason why I never had to buy a clothes dryer.  


Here’s to the next ten years in this beautiful place.